How to Overcome When Someone Has Way More Take than Give

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No one is useless in this world who lightens the burdens of another — Charles Dickens

I’m pretty sure Dickens was a giver. He knew the importance of helping others.

Do you ever daydream about what it would be like to have a cup of coffee with men of wisdom? Dickens is on the list of people I would like to meet.

If I ever make it to heaven here’s another guy I’d like to ask questions of too. His name is Winston Churchill.

Giving is a good thing, but not to the extent of martyrdom. There comes a time self-preservation requires a pause on giving to recharge the “self”.

This isn’t an article on self-care. It’s about common sense. You can’t give so much that you put yourself at risk.

These are men who knew how to give and appreciate life. They also knew how to recharge.

Because when someone asks too much, expects too much, he becomes a taker.

Too much ask without proper accreditation and compensation becomes take.

No one likes a taker.

When a person takes too much from someone he is someone who takes advantage.

This is true; yes?

Stealing

It’s the person who listens to you and asks your opinion, then takes your ideas and presents them as their own without giving you credit.

Allow a visual. My oldest daughter, when young, would yell, “take” when another child would steal her toy at playgroup or the dog would steal a toy to engage in play. She was loud and boisterous and there was no mistaking the wrong that had been done to her. Adults would snicker and snap to attention.

It has a lot to do with feelings. When someone you trust takes something from you it hurts your feelings. And, all too often, it’s feelings that damage relationships. Sometimes we’re too sensitive, but let’s walk this road a little.

It hurts to have your toy taken.

Older kids say:

As adults, it’s sometimes material possessions, but it’s likely intellectual property is stolen. Sometimes it’s by your “friend”. When he or she takes your idea and presents it as their own to gain public favor of a crowd it’s theft.

It’s a great gift to share ideas. After all, givers are happier, healthier people, but when it’s a repeat performance of theft it becomes too much to bear. It becomes betrayal.

Work

Have you been betrayed by a co-worker or the ideas of your art stolen? It’s a horrible, awful, feeling to be betrayed and used by someone you should be able to trust.

It’s a fine outlook for a team project. Amazing things happen when you group together with others of unique gifts and talents. Pulling resources allows you to do more together than any one person can do separately. No one person gets the credit and all enjoy the reward.

It’s different when someone claims your work and ideas as theirs repeatedly. It’s a backstabbing action that kills partnerships.

You’ve been neglected, uncompensated, and left off of citations time and again.

I don’t think Truman ever meant that you’re to be a passive inventor and worker bee for “the man” to claim your ideas and benefit from them. “The man” as they call him is fake. His ego is too big for him to do what is right on your behalf.

In case your arrogance has called you to miss this, I am Queen of my own colony. Here’s the difference between you and me: I celebrate and promote people’s gifts. You stifle them. I’ve been called to lead and lead I shall.

People are opening their eyes to your “take” atmosphere.

No one is crying, “ Me, me, let me climb over others to serve you so you can take my ideas and present them as yours.”

He’s not a giver. He’s a taker.

There is no good in taking the gifts of others, wrapping them in self-importance, and calling them your own.

He’s traveled a little way up, and he has a long way to fall.

The man who makes himself off the work of others without compensation is a small man indeed. He is prideful. He is arrogant. He doesn’t care about you. He cares about what you can do for him.

Wake up, man, before it’s too late.

Life

You’ll meet these people everywhere in life. I’m sure you have a story of someone who’s stolen your gifts and how you overcame the adversity of it.

  • Is the person too proud to admit it?
  • Is the story he’s telling himself that he believes he’s doing you a favor?
  • Is he too blind by his own ambition?

It’s plenty of food for thought.

When you’re too proud to give proper accreditation and compensation your hubris reveals itself.

As they say:

Think about the giant you have in your life and think of ways to slay him. Then call “the man” into account and overcome him anyway.

Written by

Founder of Publishous. Mom of 2. Helps writers write better. Get my book, Make Money on Medium: Build Your Audience & Grow Your Income: https://amzn.to/2WI48e8

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