Thanks for your bold honesty and sharing your thoughts. Love that you shared your story.
Interesting wonderings here…
The first: not sure why things happen the way they do, but I understand that He intends them for good. You’re wondering… what happened if you and the baby before you had swapped places. I believe you are meant to be here. And, I’m glad. Because I enjoy your writing. Not that the one before you was any less… anything. It’s not what we deserve or don’t deserve, it’s about what He plans.
I had forgotten that you have four beautiful blessings and in return are being blessed even more by your “surprise”. ;-)
The wall painting at your church is a beautiful memorial, to remember, to grieve, and hopefully to heal. It also reminds others who maybe haven’t walked this road that there is great pain for those who have. It is an area to touch with special care and love.